My adventures into Motherhood
I’m nearly at the end of my second pregnancy, and while it hasn’t been a vastly different ride, there have been a few things that I’ve noticed… And not noticed….
It’s just that when you already have one little person to run around after, a lot of introspective me-time goes out the window. I’m talking all of it. If you can grab some peace and quiet in the shower to think about your own needs for a change instead of making a long mental list of all the things you need to/should be getting/doing then you’re doing pretty well for yourself. With all this running around to the park, playgroups, Gymboree, you kinda lose track of time and before you know it, you realise that you haven’t had a period since…..can’t remember.
And then the doc confirms that you’ve actually been pregnant for 3 months already! Where was the tiredness and the ravenous hunger from last time? Actually, there were a few days when you just about fell asleep on the couch while supervising Sof’s play, and you did feel the need for a few morning tea bikkies…..but thats just from trying to keep up with a toddler, right?
Anyway, now you know the truth of it, you can enjoy the second trimester. It’s the best one, filled with energy, sickness (if you had it) is usually gone, and you’re not so large that it’s impacting on your ability to do things and wear things. You can be smug in your miracle-of-life-creating and enjoy the congratulations and excitement. The first time I was definitely a smug pregnant woman. Swanning around in my superiority cloud because I had made a baby! I was creating new life, my sense of achievement was immense and my pre-baby life was going to pale in comparison to the expectations I had of fulfilment in motherhood. For this sentiment, accurately represented in song, watch this – its hilarious! And true 🙂 The second time around, you don’t have time to be smug, life with your toddler goes on and you’re too busy explaining the logic of the universe, negotiating for good behaviour, bribing with snacks and chasing them around the house to wrestle some clothes onto them. As your belly grows, people will ask you how far along you are, and you’ll actually have to stop and think, even then you can only give an approximation, because you only know the day of the week dependant on which toddler activity is happening that day, and you have no idea how many weeks have passed in this manner because it seems like forever. Contrast with your first pregnancy when you read and re-read ‘Your Pregnancy Bible’ and followed your growing baby’s development week by week knowing your exact gestation to the day.
Before you know it, you’ve come to the third trimester and you’re wondering, where did the time go? The belly is large and your toddler has noticed that mummy is hiding something. It’s time to break out the books ‘Waiting for baby’ and ‘My new baby’ to start talking about what babies are like and that we are going to be getting one soon. Thankfully toddlers are very adaptable and take in new knowledge like a sponge, so three months to interact with and talk about babies smaller than her is plenty of time for Sofia to get used to the concept of ‘moi moi bubby’. Nothing can prepare her for the lifelong ramifications of having a little sister, but I’m sure she’ll learn.
Because Sofia was born at 34 weeks + 5 days gestation, I haven’t had the experience of this latter part of pregnancy. I have to say, it’s not much fun. Too large to bend over and pick things up off the floor, touch my toes, and comfortably cuddle Sof, turning over in bed to ease my aching lower back and over-stretched pelvis is a logistical nightmare requiring 3 pillows and a bulldozer to flip the whale. And without the constant weekly nagging to do my pelvic floor exercises from an ante-natal teacher, I find that the odd unexpected sneeze sometimes makes me pee myself….just a lil bit.
Thank goodness for Nath. Being the best husband in the world, he has taken over all housework and cooking duties and is on Sof-duty all weekend. This allows me to catch-up on much needed rest time from the other 5 days of the week when you just have to keep going despite your own personal needs because there’s a little person who depends on you to be her mummy. So, those of you who are pregnant for the first time, enjoy wallowing in the smug cloud of your preconceived notions about motherhood, there will never be another time in your life when you have so much ‘me’ headspace….. Coz yo sh*tz about to get REAL.