My adventures into Motherhood
We decided to do a boat-trip round the Sorrentine coast to Amalfi which took all day and stopped off next to Capri for swimming mid-voyage as well as giving you time to look around Amalfi. We were all looking forward to it, and Dad was successful in his mad dash to the upper deck to nab a sun lounger while I stayed downstairs in the shade with Sofia and her pram.
As we set-off we admired the scenery and held Sofia so she could look out the porthole windows at the boats going past. Everything seemed so idyllic, until we hit open water and the choppy waves started beating on the bow. A few minutes into the ride, after the novelty of being on a boat wore off, I started to feel a bit green. And I wasn’t the only one. Leaving Sofia with ‘Seadog Nath’ I headed for the back of the boat which is supposed to be calmer. Unless all the other sick people are also hanging out there too. While I was staring out at the horizon, taking big gulps of fresh sea air and trying to hold onto my breakfast, four young girls in bikinis came running down the stairs from the upper decks and one of them brushed in front of me to puke her guts out over the side. This set off a bout of hysterical crying and wailing in a language I didn’t understand (or maybe it was just incomprehensible english) and much clutching of each other’s hands and generally looking sorry for themselves. They looked almost desperate enough to jump ship and swim back to shore, except that their bikinis were probably made for being papped in, and not for actual swimming. I would have laughed long and loud if only her puking didn’t make me feel like puking.
Once my stomach felt calm enough, I headed back into the interior of the boat to see how Mum, Nath and Sofia were getting along. Mum looked about as green as me because along from her a young wife was comforting her husband as he buried his face in a plastic bag and made retching noises. Unfortunately the bag was see-through plastic and the litre of stomach contents floating in there looked like a full-english breakfast with a couple of cups of black coffee thrown in. It’s the cruising equivalent of a car crash – looks horrific, makes you feel sick and yet you still can’t look away.
We made it to Amalfi though, Nath and Sofia being the only ones who really enjoyed the ride, and had a pleasant afternoon eating lunch and looking at souvenirs in the tiny township before we had to brave the waves home again. Thankfully the homeward journey was more relaxed and subdued. And we got some cute pictures of Sofia wearing my Mum’s new sunhat!