My adventures into Motherhood
It’s been over a week since Mum left and I’ve slowly been getting into my own routine without her extra pair of hands. I’m glad to say that the house is tidy and and clean and nothing has burnt down, but this has meant I haven’t had much time online!
Without Mum here to guide me I’ve had to rely solely on my own judgement, and try to parent confidently without back-up. It hasn’t been that easy! Several times a day I wonder if I’m doing the right thing, andI’ve had to learn to trust my instincts. You’re with your baby 24/7 so her life is your life, and everything that happens to her also happens to you. Now I can understand a Mother Bear’s aggression, cause when someone is messing with your baby, they’re also messing with you!
That strong protection instinct extends to everything I do with Sofia during the day. I try to protect her from being hungry by making sure she feeds well, because when she feeds well she also sleeps well, and this protects her from being overtired. I protect her from nappy rash, being too hot or too cold, and being overstimulated. So when she’s overtired and screaming the house down, you’re also feeling that you’ve failed her in some way and that a ‘good mother’ would have prevented this. It’s your sole job as a mother to protect your baby from these things and we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to do everything that’s best for our babies.
So I’ve been keeping a diary of sorts. A record of Sofia’s awake and asleep time, how many feeds a day she gets and for how long. It’s really helped me to work out her natural pattern and to work in the things I need to do, like shower and cook myself lunch. Also, when you make a mistake like letting her get overtired, and she responds by crying all afternoon, you can easily see where you went wrong and how you can correct the routine the next day. Now I’ll bet what happens is that just as I’m starting to get the hang of what she’s up to, she’ll grow and change routine on me…….