My adventures into Motherhood
Nath has a new contract and now works at the top of Tottenham Court Road. This is great news, but it’s really hard to get there from our house, and is even harder with a pram in tow.
The ride in was no problem, with Sofia being a good girl in her pram, and we even managed to get through a civilised lunch at Nath’s local Japanese place. Nath got the first nappy change of the outing after lunch, and with no screaming involved he took her to the bathroom and cleaned up her butt, then proudly brought her back to me so I could feed her in the restaurant. Second outing of the boobs went smoothly and then she was settled back in her pram and Mum and I were off again to Habitat and Heals!
Then the afternoon started to go downhill….. We’d only just made it into Habitat when she woke up again and started crying. We hoped that if we zoomed her around the store, she’d eventually fall back to sleep – but after some slalom pram manouveres around the displays she still wasn’t settling down. By this stage we were downstairs looking around, so I was desperately looking around for somewhere secluded to take her out and check her nappy again. Tucked around a back corner was a handy waist-high display cabinet. I forget what product was for sale because I was too busy laying out my changemat and getting all her nappy paraphenalia out. Then the little miss go taken out and had her pooey butt changed in a quickfire pit stop any Formula 1 team would have been proud of. Just in time too, as a Habitat staff member came around the corner just as I had picked her up again and was putting all the evidence back into the change bag. After such a big poo, she was hungry again and I thought that a little milk top-up might be enough to get her back to sleep. Hanging out in the childrens section was the right move cause in the corner next to the Wendy playhouse was a rocking chair! Sitting in the rocking chair, looking like part of the display, feeding and rocking my baby to sleep, I was starting to think that Habitat was a pretty hospitable place to hang out…..
Onto Heals next, where we were still only wandering around the ground floor and she woke up and started screaming again! Out of the pram she came and I wandered around with her, not really able to look at anything on display because I was trying to calm her down to sleep. Lucky for me, Mum pushed the pram around while I had my hands full, otherwise I would have had to park up in a couch setting to pacify her, or just quickly exited the shop in shame. Upstairs in the furniture section she finally had fallen asleep so we put her back into the pram and I walked around free again.
Because she looked so settled, we went on to Paperchase and had a look at the cute stationary designs and I found a few things to buy. But then she woke up again! Thinking it might be a dirty nappy, I wheeled her to the back of the shop where all the different papers are, and found a spot on the floor where I did another guerilla change on the fly. Right when I had her all cleaned up and was reaching for her clean nappy, she let rip a massive shart that sprayed watery mustardy poop all over the floor! It had came out with such force that she had cleared the changemat and my hand and shot it about 30cm away in a lil puddle. Praying that no-one came over to look at the paper stock I mopped it up with baby wipe after baby wipe and tried not to dissolve into fits of giggles on the floor. After that one she wanted another feed, so we went upstairs to Nero where I had feeding session number 3 while Mum got us some drinks and cake.
By the time we were ready to leave I looked at the time in horror. It was already 5pm! Racing back downstairs to purchase our basket of stationary, I tried to hurry us along to the tube station, but I could already see the streets were filled with commuters. No-one with a pram is ever stupid enough to attempt the tube in peak rush hour. No-one except for us that is. We had a lengthy ride ahead of us on the Northern line to Embankment and then we changed to District to get back home. You know that look of contempt that commuters give to tourists with big wheelie bags?? There’s a special look of disdain for mothers who have prams on the tube at rush hour that is very similar……
Needless to say, I don’t think I’ll be going to visit Nath for lunch again anytime soon. I think he needs to get another contract thats closer to home.