My adventures into Motherhood
A year ago, Nath and I were newlyweds – basking in the afterglow of a perfect wedding and the family time back in NZ. Upon arriving back home to London, I threw out the packet of pills I was taking and went cold turkey to shock my long-dormant cycle back into action. I’d been on the pill for many years and I had no idea how long it would take for ovulation to come back around or what my natural cycle would look like after all this time, so I got myself a kit from Boots and started taking my temperature every morning and plotting it on the graph in my little book.
This was supposed to tell me when I was marginally warmer, indicating ovulation was taking place and supposedly making it easier for me to pinpoint the exact 48 hour window of opportunity. After plotting a couple of months, I still wasn’t really any the wiser! All I had learnt was that I have a really really looooong natural cycle at 40 days. For a girl that hates waiting, this wasn’t a great thing.
In order to prepare for pregnancy, I was also taking Pregnacare vitamins, eating healthily with lots of fruit and vege, and drinking lots of water! I researched ‘getting pregnant’ on the internet, and read up on statistics, ovulation cycles, and getting pregnant tips. Some things I learned:
Let your man watch porn – the stimulated man produces more sperm on average
You both need to drink plenty of water – to keep all your bodily fluids up
It takes about 2 days for sperm to be replenished – so it might be best to have sex every second day to ensure a full load
Get into a good position – utilise gravity and try to get as much sperm to the hot zone as possible
Make an O-face together – the cervix dilates upon orgasm, meaning that Luke Skywalker’s target on the Death Star gets that much bigger, and using the force becomes that much easier
Rest afterwards – allow time for the ‘magic’ to happen. My friend Laura recommended lying with my legs up in the air, which I did for about 15 mins afterwards – and it worked!
In May, I decided to up the ante and bought the ovulation sticks as well. These are the pee-on kind and they tell you exactly when you are actually ovulating. For several mornings around my “hot” temperatures all I got was the empty circle indicator – gotta love the symbolism there……… But on the 24th May, I got the smiley face! I gleefully announced to Nath that it was ‘on like Donkey Kong’ and that he better drink plenty of water that day and then bring his game face home after work.
I won’t go into the gory details, but a couple of weeks later on what seemed like an ordinary day – my home pregnancy test confirmed that I was expecting! When I showed Nath the indicator result, his bad day at work flew out the window and he grinned the biggest smile at me while I yelled “WE DID IT!!”